I make Microsoft SQL Server go faster. I love teaching, travel, cars, and laughing. San Diego, California. He/him.

Sessions

Making your T-SQL fast isn't really all that different from building and driving race cars. Learn lessons from racing icons that you can apply right away in your databases.
Got a slow application or server, and not sure where to start? Brent will explain how to use the two most popular free tools and how to read their results.
These two technologies can make a very big – and very bad – difference in how your SQL Server performs. Wouldn’t it be great if you could get the real, honest lowdown from a virtualization administrator, a SAN administrator, and a DBA? Wouldn’t it be even better if one person had done all three, and could give you the pros and cons of each point of view? That person is Brent Ozar, a Microsoft Certified Master who’s been there and done that.
PANIC IN THE DATACENTER! Your databases are approaching - or surpassed - the Terrible Terabyte mark. You're pouring money into the SAN, but your data isn't pouring back out as fast as you want. You're terrified to DBCCs or index maintenance because everything takes forever, and you don't have big maintenance windows.
You don't buy a lot of servers, but you're about to deploy SQL Server, and you only get one chance to make it right. Brent Ozar will boil down everything you need to know into just a few simple decisions including SQL Edition, sockets, and RAM.
How does SQL Server build results? We'll role play: Brent Ozar will be an end user sending in queries, and you'll be SQL Server. This session is for people who are comfortable writing queries, but not with indexes, statistics, and sargability.
Ever wonder how someone else does it? There’s no right way or wrong way, but in this session you can peer over Brent’s shoulder (virtually) while he takes a few Stack Overflow queries and tries various techniques to make them faster.
You're a DBA who's struggled with Perfmon metrics and Profiler. You're facing a sea of confusing numbers, and you don't know where to focus first. Microsoft Certified Master Brent Ozar will give you a friendly introduction to wait statistics.
You're hearing a lot about the new features in SQL Server, but you're not hearing a lot about the drawbacks. Ever wonder why? Join Brent Ozar, the guy behind DBAreactions.com, for a sarcastic, funny look at SQL Server 2014's "features" and bugs.
You've been performance tuning queries and indexes for a few years, but lately, you've been running into problems you can't explain. Could it be RESOURCE_SEMAPHORE, THREADPOOL, or lock escalation?
It strikes fear in your heart: "Transaction was deadlocked on lock resources with another process and has been chosen as the deadlock victim." Learn the basics of how SQL Server handles blocking, locking, and deadlocking.
Isn't it awkward when someone asks you, "So, where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" Brent Ozar will share how he analyzed the data job market to build his career path.
If you want to work for yourself, you need to be able to sell yourself. I know, I hate it too - it feels gross when I write it that way. I'm Brent Ozar. You recognize my name, that's why you wanna learn this from me.
You keep getting warnings and emails about deadlocks, but let's be honest: you're not really sure how they happen or what to do about it. Brent Ozar will show one, use sp_BlitzLock to analyze it, then fix it.
A roadmap of options for your career.
What do index rebuilds and defrags really do?
How to write stored procedures that have a high likelihood of performing well and are easy to troubleshoot.
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