SQLBits 2018

SQL Server Infernals - A Beginner’s Guide to Worst Practices

When you're in a rush, following best practices is a luxury you may not be able to afford. What about just avoiding worst practices instead? Join me for this session and learn from my mistakes!
Are you faced with complaints from users, poor performing code from developers, and regular requests to build reports? Do you uncover installation and configuration issues on your SQL Server instances? Have you ever thought that in dire times avoiding Worst Practices could be a good starting point? If the answer is “yes”, then this session is for you: together we will discover how not to torture a SQL Server instance and we will see how to avoid making choices that turn out to be not so smart in the long run.
You are probably thinking: “Hey, wait, what about Best Practices?”. Sometimes Best Practices are not enough, especially for beginners, and it is not always clear what happens if we fail to follow them. Worst Practices can show the mistakes to avoid. I have made lots of mistakes throughout my career: come and learn from my mistakes!
As your pesonal Virgil, I will guide you through the circles of the SQL Server hell:
  • Design sins:
    • Undernormalizers
    • Generalizers
    • Shaky Typers
    • Anarchic Designers
    • Inconsistent Baptists
  • Development sins:
    • Environment Pollutors
    • Overly Optimistic Testers
    • Indolent Developers
  • Installation sins:
    • Stingy Buyers
    • Next next finish installers
  • Maintenance sins:
    • Careless caretakers
    • Performance killers