Revenge: The SQL!
Have you been wronged, cheated, lied to, lied about, or deceived by a coworker? Feel like your DBA position offers no opportunity for revenge? WRONG! This session is a light-hearted exploration of some delightfully mischievous SQL design patterns that will annoy, aggravate, and antagonize anyone who has to work with them...even though they deserved it! Learn how to create tables with no names, columns with duplicate names, and write perfectly valid yet utterly nonsensical SQL. You may never get to use these techniques…but you'll ache for the chance!
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Rob Volk is a database administrator in the Atlanta, Georgia area since 2001, having worked in the wireless telecom, utility billing, and credit card processing industries. He started using SQL Server with version 6.5 and is very glad to have upgraded since then. He has presented at several SQL Saturdays and user groups in the US, and looks forward to his American jokes falling flat with the UK audience, which may prompt a poor imitation of The Parrot Sketch. In his spare time he accomplishes more than he does on the job, just don't tell his boss.
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